Bitter
by Burden
Summary: Only when we push someone away do we realize too late how much we really needed them. China/Japan drabble, angsty. August 1945.


China cranes his head to inspect his scar in the mirror. It is the only part of him he hates. The part of him that made the mistake of loving Japan too much. The part that decided to put too much effort into one child, only to have that child betray him and break his heart. Now he knows better; now he knows to distrust and dislike Japan. Hate him, even. Hate the country who spurned his affection, denied ever being related to him, and disfigured him.

China glares at his stupid scar, and wishes it would go away. Wishes all the memories it holds would kindly go away and leave China with a happy history. But no, he is not allowed to have that.

A loud bell sounds through his house._ Visitors?_ This early? It is nearly eight thirty in the morning. China sighs and pulls his Pien-fu top back on, and he fusses with the long sleeves a bit before standing and going to answer the door.

He expects to see Korea, as he is the only one who really visits China these days, or Russia at the very least. What he does see shocks him.

"Nihōn...?"

Japan is hardly recognizable under all of the burns. He looks as if he is about to faint.

"Y-Yao-San..." Japan tries to smile, and China flinches at the cracking sound his face makes. Japan looks like the embodiment of pain. Burning skin is all China smells; he brings his sleeve up and covers his nose. The action seems to offend Japan.

"What- what happened to you?" China asks, voice laced with disgust. Japan seems about to cry- though there is probably no water left in his body to let him do so. It is all burned up.

"A-America..." He coughs dryly into a torn kimono sleeve. He leans against the doorframe, as he can no longer support himself fully. It hurts the burns on his arm to the point where he wants to stand again...But he cannot. "...Attacked Hiroshima...city," Japan wheezed. His voice was crackly and unsettling.

_With what, flamethrowers?_ China looks into Japan's miserable eyes and can tell he wants to be let inside China's borders even more, this time to get help in a time of need. Where was Japan when China needed help? Sharpening his blade to stab Yao in the back. His eyes narrow in contempt at the memories, memories that bring tingling sensations to his scar.

"Yao-"

"_China_." He corrects, with an emotionless voice.

"...China, please..._Help me_," He reaches singed, shaking fingers out to China, his brother, his mentor. Everything he always wanted to be like- a big, strong, powerful empire.

The big, powerful empire in ruins promptly takes Japan's hand and swats it away. "What do you want me to do, aru? My soldiers are busy keeping _yours_ away from the mainland. Keeping my people alive is more important than helping a _traitor_." It would be different if China were helping his family. But as Japan made it clear years ago, they were not brothers. Japan has no family.

His eyes become more broken and sad. It hurts China, but does not deter him. He will not help someone who has hurt him so badly. "Yao, please..." There he went, saying China's real name again. Only family should be able to call him that. "I'm sorry,_ Japan_. I can't do anything to help you." Years of bitterness are pent up in his cold words. It feels good to get that out.

Japan has never felt so alone in his entire life, standing there at China's door, sick and wounded and burned and dying. And China does not care. Overwhelming guilt washes over Japan and makes the burns burn hotter, the stinging stab deeper, the blood drip faster. He brought these things upon himself, because he has dared to chase after a dream of being a large empire, like big brother Yao, like the man who had just decimated him, like those who stand by and watch him crumble into ashes. And China does not care. Because both he and Japan know that he deserves this. For Nanking, for Manchuria, for everything. Japan feels the overwhelming shame because of China. And the things he has done to the one person who used to love him.

"I...am sorry, China . . ." Japan whispers, tears dripping down the corner of his right eye. China wonders if the water feels good on the burning flesh around those sad, brown eyes.

"...Me too." He says quietly, and closes the door to his home.

x-x

_August Fifth._

_'The United States of America has announced that they are prepared to drop another bomb on Japan if they refuse to surrender, but it looks like Japan isn't going to give up the fight so easily!...More when we come back..._

_August Ninth._

_Greetings Beijing! We're pleased to announce that three days after the devastating strike on Hiroshima, America has dropped another nuclear bomb on the city of Nagasaki, Japan! Officials say that Japan has no...'_

_finnis_

I remember reading an article about the Chinese people's reactions to Hiroshima and Nagasaki, and there was alot of positive things being said. By positive, I mean very happy about the bombings. This definitely doesn't reflect my opinion(Kinda hate my country for dropping the bombs.), or what I think of the Chinese people. They have every right to feel happy about an awful thing, just as the Japanese did at Nanking, right? Right, I guess. Just trying to save myself any flames, keke... Well, hoped you liked it at least. I know this has probably been done before, but eh.


End file.
